Is it ok, if you want to build a family with kids at a age over 45 ?

It´s getting dificult and a bit strange to be the oldes parent in the kinder garden.

Is It OK To?
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  • You ask this yet you talk like you already have children?

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  • I became a father at 50, so I'm older than the parents of most of my daughter's friends. That just doesn't bother me, mainly because my attitude for a long time has been that people will think whatever the hell they want to about me, there's nothing I can do about that, and I really don't give a shit.

    Which is not to say that I treat the much younger parents as if they're just kids. That's not how I see them, and I don't see myself as incredibly old either. I treat them as equals, and if they reciprocate, then everything is cool.

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  • I think when it comes to parenting the world is a very judgemental place. If you're looking after your kids well then I don't think it matters much how old you are.

    I was told repeatedly by people who I hardly knew that I was too young to be a mum when I was pregnant with my first (I was already married at this point, had a good career, and the baby was planned). As I've grown older I have found my friends who waited to start their family until later in life are now receiving as much judgement as I did.

    Basically whatever decisions you make are wrong according to someone. Most often the people you barely know. So fuck those people and just do whatever makes you happy.

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    • I have the impression from anecdotes I've read online that this is a particular problem in the States: complete strangers coming up to parents in the supermarket or on the street and criticising something that they're doing or not doing with their kid, and that sort of thing. I'm sure it occasionally happens in the UK, but I think it's much less common. I have no idea what there is about American society that means so many people feel they have the right to shove their nose into something that's none of their business.

      There are positive and negative things about becoming a parent when you're well past your twenties. One of the positive things is that if you're over forty, you're more likely to have the self-confidence to look nosy idiots in the eye and tell them fuck off.

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  • Do whatever makes you feel good and don't get stuck in that loop of caring what others think. Thinking like that only leads down a dark and painful road

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  • My parents were in their 40s when they had my brother.. also it's pretty normal. Oldest parent, really? I volunteer at a program for children under 6 and half the parents are in their 40s..

    Maybe where you're from its uncommon? Where I am, the average person seems to get pregnant around 35 so they are typically 40+ when their children are in kindergarten. I myself don't plan to have kids until later in life.

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  • Thanks to all new fertility treatments and adoption, you can become a parent at any age. I say if that's what you want go for it.

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