Is it ok to ask about physical deformities?

So theres this guy I’ve been hanging around with at work who I like, a lot. Normally if it were a regular friend, I would bluntly ask what happened and if they chose to answer great. But in this quest to find out more about the guy that puts butterflies in my stomach, I want to know more without offending. Normally I wouldnt care this much about something so trivial but I cant not think about it when its staring me right in the face.

Is It OK To?
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  • I only ever ask people about personal things like that if I'm close with them. A good measure of that is if we can poke fun at eachother and know the other one's just joking and not take offense. If that's the case, then I'd feel like I could ask about their "deformity" and they'd know I'm just asking from a place of good intent rather then like "what the heck is that?"

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    • thanks! We have joked about eachother many times so I think today I will just ask!

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  • If you know him well and you both trust each other, I don't see the harm.

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  • It's hard to have any idea about what you should do since you don't specify the "deformity", it's not clear what your relationship with the guy is, and your intentions aren't obvious.

    You say the "deformity" is very obvious. Does the guy try to conceal it, or does he act like he's very self-conscious about his second head or missing limb? If so, then it might be best for you to respect what seems to be his desire to be treated just like a "normal" person, rather than a freak.

    If he seems to be open and relaxed about the fact that he has a prosthetic limb or whatever, then he might be okay with you asking what happened to him and how that affects his life. It apparently fascinates you, so he's probably well-aware that you're staring, and he's probably used to people being curious.

    I've got to wonder why you feel butterflies in the stomach when you think about this. Is it sexually arousing for you? Do you think how he looks is cool? Do you imagine how you'd feel if you had his "deformity"?

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    • To answer that last question, even before this guy, I often thought about what it would be like with a missing leg so I guess I dont see it as a bad thing

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    • Body marks and disfigurations are a bonus to the persons attractiveness but they do not define why I find them attractive to begin with... i guess that could be a whole nother question in itself.

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  • does he have a bent penis cause they can curve every witch way , some look like they could snake up a peacock's ass . I was blessed with a straight eight one. Is he missing a hand? break the ice by asking if he can get a condom over that.

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  • What is the physical deformity?

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    • So he's got a prosthetic leg on the right and what looks like a giant burn scar trailing from his right hand to at least his elbow.

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