Is it ok to be offended by this?

the man that I've been with for almost five years now..also father of my newborn baby has never suggested that we use protection until recently.. it really offends me,I don't know why ..after all these years we have never even talked about using protection, is it because I got pregnant and had the baby or what..I just can't do it with him again now,I feel awkward he wants to make love to me but with protection..not that am against it I feel like there's more to that don't you think??

Is It OK To?
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  • Umm could it be that you both were looking to have a child and now that as you say you just had one, he is not looking to immediately have another?? Your post is unbelievably confusing to me

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  • Basically, he's scared of getting you pregnant again. Was he using the pullout method this whole time?

    Anyway, you're not fat, ugly, or whatever insecurity that's holding your brain hostage at the moment, he's just overwhelmed. Stop being basic. Think about it. It's not just you affected by this baby, but your man as well. Along with keeping you feeling loved and appreciated to the best of his ability, he has to get use to being a dad. The one thing about most men is they're not vocal about their feelings, but rather take action first. Fatherhood is probably kicking his ass right now, and he knows that unprotected sex lead to this; so common sense thing would be to wear a condom or get birth control.

    Just talk to him.

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  • Reverse the genders and maybe you can see how much of an ass you are being. People would shred a guy for balking at using a condom. Granted, his risks are much less than hers in that case, but the general principle is consent, that one is showing disregard for the others feelings and bodily autonomy. He doesn't consent to unprotected sex but you think your feelings are more important than his?

    You have every right to not have sex with him anymore but your way of thinking is unfair to him in that you don't have the right to undermine his convictions and try to manipulate or feel you are owed sex from him how YOU want it. Your feeling hurt by his refusal is what I mean, you don't have that right. He said no so accept that and move on. The world doesn't revolve around you.

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  • look , dont be stupid , having another baby with this guy when he doesn't want one will just do harm. Tell me why you need a two babies when you are not married. is this a black person? white women dont think like this. if you are black i can understand how you feel. he's not fucking you unprotected means only one thing . You are a booty call. It also means he is probably fucking somebody else unprotected. its in your hands as to what you want to do. personally i think one baby with him is enough , he isn't worth two. you can always have another baby with someone else.

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    • now you just said what I was thinking. he's probably sleeping with someone else.. I don't mind the protection at all. it's infact a great idea but why is he soo careful right now,he already has 3 kids from a previous relationship,he does love all his kids I can tell..he's just sleeping with someone else...

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      • Ugh nooooo!!! You're one of those hostile women who be like, "Is that new cologne I smell!? Bitch why you wearin' new shit after 3 years of smellin' like the old shit. Bitch you cheating."

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      • There is no evidence from your post that he is cheating. He probably doesn't want anymore fucking kids.

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      • No offense, but he sounds like a real dirtbag. If your relationship doesn't work out with the two timing man-whore you ought to sue him for child support.

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    • White women don't think like what? Having babies without being married? You oan't be serious

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  • Depends if its a condom or the pill, the pill its just to prevent more kids, a condom he cheated and caught something

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  • You posted another question complaining about how you have to ask the father of your baby for money to cover the cost of the kid, didn't you?

    There are methods of contraception other than condoms. But if the decision to have a child was one you made without regard for his wishes, then he'd have to be extremely stupid to trust you to take the pill or take your word that you'd had an IUD.

    He clearly doesn't want another child. It sounds like you do. You insisting on not using contraception or tricking him into getting you pregnant would be an incredibly stupid thing to do.

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  • There's nothing wrong with using condoms. It's better to use condoms unless you're married. What's wrong with this guy wanting to use protection? What's wrong with him not wanting to knock you up again?

    What's weird is that ya'll have never used protection before, or even discussed it. No offense, but I can't imagine not ever discussing birth control or condoms. I can't help but wonder why you never brought up the topic of using protection yourself. I don't think it's normal that ya'll never used condoms, or even discussed using condoms.

    I honestly can't help, but to think ya'll aren't normal, or at the very least not very smart. I honestly find it a turn off if a guy doesn't wanna use protection, if someone doesn't wanna use protection I don't want to be intimate with him. There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to use protection in order to prevent disease and crisis pregnancy. I'm not interested in riding bareback unless my boyfriend and I get married.

    Of course there are selfish men who refuse to use condoms, because they only care about how sex feels for them, and there are women who don't want to use condoms, because they think that getting pregnant will keep the man around, but they're stupid, have low self-esteem and no self-respect.

    I still don't understand why you can't just sit him down and give him a talking to about all of this? This makes me sad, because it sounds like you've been letting him make all the decisions as if he's the boss in relationship, and you're just along for the ride or, because you're afraid to be alone. There's nothing wrong with you talking to your partner about stuff and thangs.

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    • I guess I'll just talk to him about it..to me it's just offensive that he thinks I may want another kid ..I don't..

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      • Why is it so hard for you to confront him and talk to him about this stuff. Are ya'll supposed to read each other's minds?

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