Is it ok to break up if your girlfriends house is nasty?

well we have been dating for about 3 years now and she lives with her parents. her dad is never at the house do to work and her mom needs help do to health issues. they have a bunch of dogs and other pets that need taken care of and her mom just cant do it by her self. After a 1 1/2 years of dating she asked me to move in. I ended up moving out of my place and moving in with her... Anyways. we dont really fight and we get along just well but! here is the down fall. The house is just nasty. IM never really there because of this and i work 80-90 hours a week and i dont eat at the house do to this issue.. Her dogs shit and piss all over by the front door outside and it sits there for hours or even days and the dogs track it into the house and all over the furniture. the fly's and bugs are really bad. the dishes sit on the counter tops and get cleaned once a week or every other week at that. also the clutter is really bad old mail paper boxes and random other crap laying around and the dog also piss and sometimes shit in the house. the floors almost never get swept or mopped. and if so its only where the dogs piss or shit. the mop bucket rarely ever gets cleaned pissy water sitting in it sometimes... one day i seen a mouse or a rat and also im starting to see roaches ... im at the end of my rope should i move out or break up with her?

Is It OK To?
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Comments ( 18 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Fuck,Yes! That's nasty.

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  • That sounds completely disgusting and you should not have to live there.

    It doesn't sound healthy for you (or for the pets - that even sounds like animal abuse).

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  • Break up and move out that is just disgusting if she can't keep up with the house or do the freaking dishes at least then you need to end the relationship.

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  • Since the dogs are the main problem, you could drive them across the country and drop them off in a desert somewhere.

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  • From what you say, I'm not clear if you lay the blame for the disgusting state of the house entirely on your girlfriend.

    If her mother is incapable of housework, her father works and she works as well, then it seems to me unreasonable to make her solely responsible for keeping the house clean.

    If, however, your girlfriend sits at home watching daytime TV all day rather than doing anything to maintain a reasonably hygienic home, then I'd say she deserves the blame. If that's the case, then she's a lazy, disgusting slob. Since it seems you do have some standards, then staying with her is always going to be difficult for you, and you should call an end to it.

    Our place is nothing near as bad as what you describe, but my wife's standards of cleanliness and tidiness are much lower than mine. I knew this when we moved in together, and I decided then that we weren't going to have arguments about it, and the only way that would happen is if I changed my attitude. Since we're at home an equal amount, I don't expect her to keep the place tidy, but if something is bothering me, I deal with it. I'm the one with the problem, so I accept ownership and sort it out.

    By the way, I can only assume that your neighbors must really love living near your girlfriend's family home.

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  • Eww that place sounds like Hell on Earth. To be completely honest my question to you is why did you move in there in the first place? I hope you've managed to save up some money what with all the working you do. I'm also curious as to whether or not you've ever actually discussed the living conditions with your girlfriend. If you haven't discussed the foul living conditions with her first then I'd also like to know why not.

    If feel so inclined as to break up with your girl over the shit-house don't feel guilty. Take a look at her parents, that is probably what she's going to turn into when she's old, because most of us end up turning into our parents

    If you don't want to breakup with her then at least move out so you can get some much needed clean living space for yourself. If you're not sure if you want to break up ask yourself one simple question.

    Ask yourself if you can picture yourself married to your girlfriend. If the answer is no then you're probably best off breaking up with her, concentrating on yourself and finding someone else who doesn't live like a piggy or hoard animals or whatever.

    Also for the sake of my own curiosity I'd like to know what your girlfriend does. Does she go to work or school? Does she sit around the house all day doing nothing? In what condition is her room? Is it disgusting like the rest of the house or is there some semblance of neatness in her room?

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  • just get out , never look back. after you have broken up ,do the right thing and call a social worker to condemn the home for habitation. you are describing mental illness. they are all mental not just one all. can you set the house ablaze when they are all out . thats another option. its illegal but its a solution. i mean its not like you will go to hell for it. it all stems from the animals that live under the roof of humans . they can die in the fire the animals not the people

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  • Bad situation. Does your girlfriend work? If so then thats not all her foult the house is messy. Do you think it would be like this if you lived on your own? I had a situation like that where my house was always messy/disgusting and i was so frustrated, them my mother was in the hospital for a,couple weeks and the house had neber been cleaner.

    Talk to her! You can move out and still date her. You can live togerher wothout her parents

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  • Move out and see if she comes with, If it's in the area she can still go over to help her parents out. I'm assuming you're the breadwinner so you'd have really have to talk it out with her considering housekeeping issues. If you're working an 80 hour week and she's your house girlfriend it's completely reasonable to ask her to keep the house at least sort of clean. If talking fails it's best to just break up as you're clearly not happy living like that.

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  • talk to her, if doesnt change, get away

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    • thats a mistake just run like hell and save yourself people dont change

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      • I m sorry but I believe that this "people don t change" is a big bullshit that people tell to themselves to not grow. I believe people can change and grow, I did it many Times and got better. I m not saying he should wait undefinitely years, Just talk about it and if in a couple of months there s no Will from het to change and grow then yes is to run like hell.

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  • Yes, at the very least move out and if she doesn't react well then brake up with her but whatever you do please get out of that house ASAP!

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  • I would say yes. Being a virgo I'm naturally ocd... If her house is that bad, she's probably not going to take care of ur house if/when u get married. U would end up doing all the cleaning and eventually getting annoyed with her messy/lazy life style. Just break up, unless u think she could chang that.

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  • Cut your losses man. Think of it like this,that's how she was brought up so it's normal to her so if you ever get a place of your own with her she will be exactly the same and you will have s hell of a battle trying to readjust her and get her use to cleaning up. Fuck that shit man there are plenty of fish in the sea.

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  • Is slow down. So first you don't need to live with her to be together. How was it before you moved in? Also idk what your full situation but with those hours depending on other debts or people you're supporting it sounds like you could afford rent somewhere. But first have you raised this with her? Your concerns about the house. I think you know if she loves you she would want you to feel content where you're living and yeah maybe that would be a good convo to have. think you owe it to her to let her know how bad it is for you first, before getting into these drastic steps. Because if u leave ur gonna inevitably have some problems with a new relationship, as no two people are without differences and eventually you gotta learn to communicate and compromise with the person

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