Is it ok to feel hopeless in life?

lately I've been feeling hopeless..things haven't been going my way..I can't even cry because each time I do..my little baby even cries more when she sees me cry so I have to pretend I'm OK..Can't even provide some of the basic needs..educated but still living in poverty.. times are so fucking hard..giving up on everything...broke,broken and alone..I'm not lazy I work hard but I have very limited resources..Just looking into starting my business can't even get a loan.. why is life so fucking unfair..

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  • I learn't whinging an crying how life is unfair gets you nowhere. Most people hate it and won't listen, wont want to help.
    May be different for you because your female and I'm male.

    You have to understand most are on their own when it comes to employment. I have had lots of different jobs. Started my own business with no help, no loans, while I watched others do it easy, get that loan and float off. I lost money and ran into unforeseen problems over and over again. Like customers not paying equipment breaking down, bla bla bla. I just kept trying untill I got in the clear and learnt from my mistakes. I,m still a small business and that's how I want it for quite a while yet.

    Any way.. I was down in the shit but now I live in a nice home with ocean views and 1 minute walk to beach. Most nights I sit upstairs on my balcony looking at the ocean and the lights reflecting off the water. If you had of asked me 5 years ago would I have this, I would have said "no way do I see that happening". I had to live in dumps before I made my way here. I even lived in caravan parks and commission housing. I even had welfare as an only income. Try buying food and paying rent with that!

    You are at home with bub. Maybe you could do a police check, get wateva it is you need and baby sit to get some income to put towards your business?

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    • thanks alot..that's quite encouraging..I won't entirely give up..still pressing on..I think I'll try other options than what I've been doing...thanks again!

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    • That was very inspirational, hope Op takes away from that the same message I did.

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  • Damn am super exhausted..whatever happens happens..I'll keep pressing on like i told you before..God will send me a helper..Think that's my only hope left..got to believe in something.

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    • You know what! You never insulted me, never called me names, showed maturity... I actually would employ you..

      You past the test. Well done :) You actually not bad EM

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  • haha damn..who hurt you,you're so doubtful..gave you a simple option..video calling. Am sorry that's how I text..back to the over analysis..stop over analysing things and realize the fact that not everyone is a con.

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  • the only thing I can say is try not to get yourself into any more trouble.
    Life wears us down to the nub. The only thing we can do is to make the best of what we have or work a little harder to improve our situation if we want better.

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  • I have depression and a whole host of other issues so I would say yes and no.

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  • Stain's advice is okay I guess, but you have an infant and you're a woman with very little support; telling you to stop playing the victim and work hard is difficult when you're a first time mother caring for a child. Plus, do you even live in the USA? If not, then the struggle only worsens due to different laws and systems.

    To start things out, what country do you live in? Also, do you have family who can watch the baby? Are you a single mother?

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    • "telling you to stop playing the victim and work hard is difficult when you're a first time mother caring for a child"

      Not what I said.. I said most people don't want to hear it! Yes you have your bleeding hearts that advertise help, but at the end of the day you get referred to someone else and it leads nowhere.
      Everyone has children! A lot of single mums out there! And most will say "I did it without help, I have issues, whats your excuse". See the best thing in a situation like this is to encourage battling and fighting for your income/job/life. Not pushing the sympathetic bleeding heart crap. I may not be a female but I have watched close people to me, single, young child very young and what helped in my opinion was to toughen up in words, and grab with both hands what you need. Don't say "I'm poor and have a child, life is unfair" Should say "I need this, I want this, give me this".

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      • And that exactly is my motive..If I started explaining then I would write a book..as much as you mean well,You may not have a clue what kind of mess I'm in right now..I'm not in America or any first world countries am in Africa,Kenya to be more specific..My government can't do anything for me..and since you've already established that you're not the sympathetic type of person then I wouldn't even go to much further details..Believe my intention has never been to host a pity party..am just simply expressing what I'm going my through..

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        • God dam it women!!

          See you not hearing me at all! Maybe I am not explaining it properly (my fault I am bad).. What I am saying is, it's your attitude! Look at your comment to me. You have an attitude, and with an attitude like that you will be unemployed for a very long time.

          First mistake.. winging
          Second mistake. only replying nicely to comments that sympathies (shows character)
          third mistake.. Its all about you! you hardly mention bub, its all about how hard it id for you.
          forth mistake.. Assuming I don't know.

          I will tell you now! I would not employ you and you need to grow up.
          Sorry. not meaning to hurt. But you being in Africa I couldn't care less... Would Africa sympathies for others? No they would give you a shovel and say put that in the fire!

          You don't fool me! Others on IIN may get tricked by you. Not me! What other scams do you have going?

          Have enough money to buy internet!!!!!

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          • I knew exactly where this is heading ..A scam..well,It would be very dumb for anyone to help someone they haven't seen or talked to..I actually didn't even intend any kind of attitude..and I'm sorry my real life is too true to look like a scam..the truth is,this is the only place where I could freely express myself that I didn't even realize I needed to be careful with my choice of words..If you can give me a job,there's nothing I would like more..I know you can't believe what you've seen but thank God we have technology..instead of criticizing me..why not just take a step to at least find out if am a scammer..we have Skype..you could always see exactly where am at..so don't be driven by logic and over analysis..please!

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            • I apologize! yes this is a platform for expression! I have no merit to dis encourage. I only was commenting with my opinion.

              Look I'm sorry babe. You say scam to many times and you try to reason to much... Look I could be wrong. And if I am I apologize from the depths of my heart. But I'm usually not wrong.

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      • My opinion is not solely based on you being a man or a mother. You gave her advice that would suit Americans. Welfare, Caravan parks, etc. How did you know for sure she's American? Why didn't you simply ask first then give advice? That's the issue I had. Being a single mother is very sad, but very common; but different parts of the world handle it differently.

        Did you know that in Kenya, young girls who get pregnant (whether it be by choice or forced) are kicked out of some schools and disowned by their family. Some young mothers have to resort to marrying the boy who impregnate them just to be seen as pure or acceptable in the public eye even if the marriage is rushed or unhappy. I dove deep into this girl's issue to try and understand even though I probably never truly will, and in the end she doesn't have many options in Kenya unlike us Americans.

        I get you have an ego about this and you're free to get frustrated, but ask questions and understand who you're talking to please. First post doesn't always have all the information you need.

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        • Thank you for sticking out for me ..it actually made me sob like a baby!clearly he did little or no research about my country..it's very very shameful to have a kid out of wedlock,to raise that kid depending on your poor parents is even more torturous and kinda sad..now,lacking what your child needs every now and then just..I don't think there's a word that can describe that kind of feeling..anyway no one would really understand unless they've been in my shoes..I don't want to beg,In fact am very very much ashamed of my status..I'm always hiding even people that used to know me,don't even know where I live because it's a small iron sheet cubicle that only fits my bed..I know it's very difficult to get help and I don't just expect people to pity me and to help me..I have plans,I want to start up a small kindergarten that I would make some little cash off of..I already have the building space,I only lack building materials and money for the labor..am too knowledgeable to let everything go to waste..with a kindergarten i get to teach underprivileged kids quality education and I take care of mine as well..two birds one stone.

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          • Don't be sad, because you'll be a business woman soon. Also, I think that's a wonderful idea.

            This is just a suggestion, but since you paid your rent already, could you start small by watching a one or two children and build up from there?

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            • That's not entirely a bad idea,however I wasn't going to do baby sitting,this people here are just too poor for baby sitters,most earning like 2 dollars a day..I could do that,however my small cubicle only fits my bed literally.. and that's not even the problem, kids in the slum?the day cares charges 20 shillings a day, that's equivalent to a dollar divided by 4 some people still don't even afford that,I wish I was kidding but it's the plain truth..in no way I could generate anything useful with that..the school idea is great because their kids would be learning their ABC's..the parents would actually try harder to take their children to a kindergarten from the age of 3-6..the plan is actually to charge that 20shillings a day basically 4 kids would bring in what's equivalent to a dollar,but then with my own place I don't get to pay the rent..These parents are so unreliable in fact,they can't even be consistent,me offering to do this would be more like a sacrifice to help out these kids,because if their parents won't afford the little amount they'll simply keep their kids at home..it's very crucial over here. I think I'll try and see how it works..whatever happens happens..I'm very much limited anyways..some realities you just can run away from

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      • by the way..I absolutely get what you mean,I'm not even into begging..not at all..I have plans am not just hooked up on my Android whining and crying..my plan is to start up a small kindergarten for kids and maybe generate some kind of income..I could teach and I have a small kid i believe that way I could kill two birds with a stone..take care of my kid while am working..my only problem is building materials..that's all..and I have a very low budget plan..I only need $1550 to run a small kindergarten..and I don't know anyone who could either lend or even loan me to do this..that's my only limitation.

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        • But you just saying what I said in my first post! You show no initiative. Ya just saying what you f*ching think I want to hear!

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          • Don't displace your frustrations onto her. You didn't ask questions, so how would you have known? People in difficult situations don't always want to tell their entire story, especially on a forum that may or may not help.

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          • ..Before you judge please do a research or something..I feel like you have this tough love kind of thing going on because you care enough to reply..just loosen up,it's ok to care about a random stranger..I have a full plan,and you haven't asked me what it is,I could share with you if interested just to prove that am a genuine person.

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    • I'm actually not in the US..I'm from Kenya..I have a little baby and unfortunately single parent..I actually don't even have someone to leave my baby with so I can at least do some random jobs,My parents kinda depend on me and we are not even in the same region..and honestly I have to pretend that I'm fine I don't want them to worry at all!And you're right..the struggle is way worse from this sides of the world!

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      • Do you know who the father of your child is? If so, are you comfortable with suing him for child support?

        Also, I discovered Kenya doesn't really have a welfare system out there, and that resources for single mothers are vary scarce. I've found an organization that's called GiveDirectly, but they don't take in personal request sadly, but I guess you can give it a try. I found another organization called The Mercy House Global, it's a very religious women's shelter from what I've read.

        GiveDirectly: https://www.givedirectly.org/
        The Mercy House: https://mercyhouseglobal.org/

        However, with any decision you make, please be careful. If you feel unsure about these websites, you can always seek other options.

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        • I've checked givedirectly and trust me half of the people you see right there would never write like that,I know you have to reach a certain level to read and write perfectly in English,Highly doubt it..it's probably a scam.

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        • Well,I generally thank you for your concern,In Kenya,no such thing as child support..The system doesn't work like it does in the US..I'll try out these websites and maybe see if I can get any help and probably start a business..I think that's the like the best option I would have right now..I believe a small capital would be good enough.

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          • I know. I've read articles on the child support in Kenya, but it's very limited and only works well for married couples, but I thought it would be worth a try since I'm not sure if you're divorced or not.

            As for GiveDirectly, I felt the same way, but felt you would be better to judge it.

            Is Mercy House legitimate?

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            • From my research,I think Givedirectly is a scam..and about Mercy house there isn't much on that site..and to answer your question..no I'm not married got my baby while I was in school..the baby father pretended to be on board till she was born..am 24 years old and not married..so basically there isn't much laws to forcefully make someone pay child support..

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  • In my opinion you should get a stable and highpaying job before starting a business. Dont put all your eggs in one basket!

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  • There's a national shortage of drivers in the USA. Walmart and UPS pay drivers 40 an hour. UPS will train you to drive too. North Dakota oil rigs cant find enough drivers to meet demand so theyre paying 350,000 a year for drivers (i can post the link to application). Its really easy man you should try it. Money will help you so much and youll feel a lot better about yourself.

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    • thanks for the references..really.I guess you could just share the details maybe it could help.thanks again!

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      • https://www.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=38925af54292afd8&from=serp&fbclid=IwAR0giPzAWeG_g1DNsxXZAiQugBciWTQXxGG-fCDeNN4HhFIYxpU8vIuFlv8

        ^ the link to ND oil rigs job. You need experience for that one and a truck but you can rent a truck. You could go to a truck driving school.

        Also try UPSERS.com to put in an application to UPS. Try to apply at the largest UPS hub near you to get a driving job quicker. Small hubs dont have as many drivers.

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        • Thanks for sharing..this might help someone else who's at least within that scope..I appreciate your kind words.

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  • Did you just have a baby? Maybe you have postpartum depression?

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    • My baby is 18 months old..I don't really know if it's postpartum depression..

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      • Hmm... well, you need to try to get some help somewhere.

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        • I guess I should...I'll try talking to someone..

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          • Have you thought more about moving to a country with more opportunity?

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            • Absolutely,I've tried to with my status,How do I even start,The only available job overseas are basically slavery kind..where am from women come back in a casket whenever they seek greener pastures..besides,I only have a cheap Android phone and I use free Wi-Fi next to some cafe,No one can even get me hooked to the slavery jobs haha..so basically By the end of this Feb I'm getting kicked out of this place where am at..slowly losing it,sold my laptop I got like $100 paid that rent for January..So now it's survival time..so of course I would definitely go to another country if I got the connection..and if I could get a good starting capital I could get myself off this mess..but who's willing to help,who?so alone in this world right now!

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