Is it ok to have problems even though you have moved on

I haven't had to best experience with sex and it wasn't positive for a lot of it until I was 19 but when me and my boyfriend are together I get so nervous when we cuddle and I WONT let him go down on me,not that he would anyway. And sex is ok but it's hard to have an orgasm with someone because I'm so nerve wrecked I just feel pressured to cum.and I still get nightmares about stuff that's happened a long time ago so just being close to a person is uncomfortable.i was wondering if anyone else has a problem similar to mine and if there's anything that I could do that could help.i have no one to talk to here.

Is It OK To?
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  • Are you a survivor, sexual assault?

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    • Yes,I saw the rules on the site and didn't know if I can out right type about it. I'm moved on but I still have trouble letting people in

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      • Maybe your boyfriend is just a jerk? Maybe not? Why won't you let him go down on you?

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        • To be honest,I'm a little nerve wrecked to let even a had down there,like I literally jump out of my skin if he lays a hand on y thigh. i want it but I'm not pushing it because I don't want it to be a chore for him. He doesn't have any experience doing it either,I love giving oral,I want him to enjoy it too of course. We cuddle and do foreplay and he listens to me so it's not the best relationship but it's the best one I've had so far, we're building up to it.he can tell when I'm nervous though

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  • If the aftermath of sexual assault is still affecting you, it's not about moving on but about getting expert professional help to deal with the issues involved.

    It's totally normal after sexual assault to have issues around trust and your own body and its responses, but you don't have to be stuck with this.

    Have you talked with your BF about your feelings? If you are being pressured in anyway, as opposed to feeling you are, there's no way that's a good thing for you.

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    • I don't want him to think my problems are his but I do communicate certain things with him,I can say no and ask for a different position but there are some things he just won't do but I think we're working on it. I was thinking of professional help but I don't want people to know I'm going there,I feel like others might think I'm weak or I can't handle situations normally.i want to do it,just in a way that no one will know

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