Is it okay that i want to feel upset?
I'm upset about something at work.
I know the sensible thing to do is rationalize the situation and try to look at the bare facts, not at my own feelings and frustrations. But I just want to feel.
I know I am frustrated about impressions of people that may not reflect reality. I know I am prone to fearing that people dislike me, when they in fact don't, and thinking that people are rejecting me, when they in fact aren't. I've feared these things time and time again only to have my fears proven to be wrong; in fact, I've sometimes been dead certain that a person disliked me, only to find them gobsmacked when they discovered I thought that. And part of me still wonders if they were pretending to be shocked - if they were putting it on just the tiniest little bit.
If I let myself trust people, it would seem that the reality of these situations is not what I have been experiencing. But I'm still exhausted from silencing my instincts and rationalizing my feelings away. I just want to feel upset, even if it's wrong, because that's how I feel.
Is it okay to want to be upset like this when you know from experience that the situation perhaps isn't real?