Is it okay that my mom acts like this?

Is it okay that my mom tells me I overreact too much? She’s been on and off drinking since I was born. 4 years ago she was drunk and she drank bleach and nearly died right in front of me. She’s been sober for a few months now but even then she has threatened to kick me out of the house for not cleaning my room and then acted like it was a joke. She openly admits to guilt tripping and jokes that my sisters and I are the reason she drinks. My dad is also an alcoholic but she either defends his actions or says I don’t have a reason to be upset. She yells at me whenever I cry. She tells me my life could be worse and I want my life to be miserable just so I can complain about it. But lately I’ve been talking to friends and councelors and it doesn’t seem normal for them. It doesn’t feel right either, I have nightmares often and lose a lot of sleep, but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. I might just be too sensitive, and she still tells me she loves me, but nothing she does anymore feels right. My sisters don’t seem to feel as affected as me though. Do I really have any right to be upset at all?

Is It OK To?
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Comments ( 11 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • You're right, and she's wrong. She's not normal, but you are. Check out something called Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.

    None of this is your fault.

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  • I mean if shes drinking bleach, thats OBVIOUSLY not normal.

    Sounds like your father could also use help for his alcohol.

    You could suggest to your mom to get him help.

    It's good your mom has been sober though.

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  • My dad and brother are both alcoholics and what you describe is normal for that dynamic. It's toxic though and you are smart enough to realize it for what it is. You can still love your mom, but set boundaries and make a plan to move as soon as you possibly can.

    Everyone deals with it differently so it's impossible to know how it affects your sisters. Just take care of yourself for now and keep talking with your counselors and maybe have them find an actual therapist who can see you.

    Hang in there. Best of luck.

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  • That is abuse. You are normal, they are not. They are mentally ill.
    You have the right to cry in any situation. I don’t see why society sees crying as weak/wrong when it’s a normal human action. You have the right to feel however you want about something, as long as you don’t hurt anyone. It’s what makes you you.

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  • Unfortunately not drinking for a few months doesn't mean she's no longer an alcoholic. Al-Ateen or Adult Children of Alcoholics could help you learn detachment from your parents' crazy behavior and that's all you really can do because they won't change unless they really want to.

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  • sounds like a bunch of mentally ill people.. save yourself!

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  • I know it is hard to deal with a alchy ...I lived in it hun.. there is nothing you can do to change them..all you can do is stay calm do not fight.. with them you will never win.. in a drunks mind set.. you are the reason for all the wrong doings in their lives.. they are placing the blame on ...and it is not your fault..some parents are worthless..just as mine are..sometimes you just gotta walk away if you can..if you cant then just stay away from home as much as you can...and your room is your place of peace...get a lock for it..

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  • My mom, other than being totally sober, is actually just like this. It's manipulation and abuse. It's not healthy for anyone and it's rly fucced. Save up and get outta there unless ur parents wanna get their shit together.

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